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The Solar Eclipse


 The Solar Eclipse

Well, color me unimpressed. The recent solar eclipse had all the hype of a heavyweight title fight but ended up feeling more like a middleweight sparring match. As a guy who appreciates a good spectacle, I can't help but feel a tad disappointed by the lackluster performance of this celestial event. I mean, if I wanted to squint at a slightly dimmer sky, I could just wait for a cloudy day.


Let's talk about expectations versus reality, shall we? I was promised a once-in-a-lifetime cosmic showdown, but what I got was more like a cosmic shrug. Sure, the sun got a temporary dimming, but where was the dramatic showdown between the sun and the moon? Where were the fireworks, the special effects, the sense of awe-inspiring wonder? Instead, I was left feeling like I'd been sold a ticket to the wrong show.


And let's not even get started on having the proper eye wear to witness this so-called event. Eclipse glasses sold out faster than concert tickets to a reunion tour of my wife's favorite '90s boy band. Believe it or not, i ended up watching the eclipse by punching a hole in the bottom of a pie plate and holding it over the driveway.  


I actually skipped lunch and left work early to watch the eclipse at home with the wife and kids.  When I arrived home, I realized my brother-in-law and his family had crashed our viewing party.  He's an okay fellow, but he likes to show off.  He's always got to have the nicest car, the biggest house, the smartest kids....you know the type. 


 So, he shows up with 5 pairs of eclipse glasses and a ton of cameras and gear.   For two hours, I put up with his 3 screaming kids and my sister yelling over and over, "Don't look at that eclipse without your glasses.  If you go blind lloking at the sun, we ain't going to the campground this weekend."  I falied to mention, my brother-in-law has a big RV, too.  


In addition to being a first class pain-in-the neck, my brother-in-law also tried to convince me that he's also a professional photographer.  As he was vying for the perfect shot, he walked all over my wife's flower beds.  Anytime I would find a place off to myself, he come rushing over and would stand right next to me.  It was like trying to enjoy a blockbuster movie while sitting in the front row of a crowded theater with a broken seat.


So, forgive me if I'm not jumping for joy over the recent solar eclipse. Call me cynical, call me jaded, but I can't help feeling like I missed out on the cosmic event of the century. Here's hoping the next celestial show delivers on the hype—or at least comes with better popcorn

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